Feb 28, 2008
24th: empty

Mikhail just turn 5 mth last sunday (24/2). initial plan to intro him to solid food was when he turn 6mth, but i think base on his behaviour, his ready....hari tu tah cemana tergerak hati nak bagi mika minum air guna cawan and dia pegang kuat cawan tu nak masuk mulut (well nowadays he put everything he found into his cute mouth)...and takut air tumpah, i took plastic spoon to feed him the water. and nampak mcm bes je kalau imagine dia tgh mkn real food....still wondering what will be his first food.....nak bagi bubur nasi? or rice cereal? well i just cant wait to cook for him =D

and he is very lasak skarang....dah tak nangis bile bagi baring (kalau dah penat sgt golek2, dia bising gak la)...punye la dia golek2 jauh pegi....and he can angkat tinggi both his head and leg at the same time, trying to get up....and mulut bising MasyaALLAH, bes dengar.....
he recognize ppl that he meet everyday and he greet them with his cute smile or with his cute baby talk....tp kalau dgn certain ppl yg dia rase mcm dia tak boleh nak ngam, nangis pulak....dah pandai pilih org pulak budak kecik ni...yang penting he knows me is his mommy =)

syukur alhamdulillah i manage to breastfeed him up till now....kalau diizinkan ALLAH, nak sampai setahun.....byk cabaran rupenya breastfeed ni....now that mikhail bigger, dia jadi a bit cerewet....i'm not allowed to talk coz if i start talking, he'll be very bising....and kalau dia dgr suara2 lain pun dia bising marah jugak....and kadang2 nak main2 or look around.....susah sket nak susukan dia kalau mcm tu.....bzbody betul....  

*****************************************************************************

work wise everything ok la so far......will be going to Penang this march....so i'm taking mikhail and my mother along...then later my dad will drive up there pick us up then head up to Tok's hse....Tok pun tak pernah jumpe Mikhail lagi....

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i'm missing my single life sometimes (don take it wrong, i dont regret gotten marry at early age...there's a pros and cons there)....to see frens who got to accomplish their dreams (we are not able to fulfill some dreams due to commitment, arent we?)...a bit of envy there....and to feel envy to other lovey dovey married couple has triggered an empty space inside of me....

i ask myself: am i happy? do i feel complete? what exactly i want out of this marriage, life? and the truth is i'm scared of the answers...why do i feel this way? am i too demanding? why do i settle when i get treat like that? is love enough to sustain a relationship? well does the great love i tot i have still exist?

i think i'm being stoopid for letting such thing happened (in the name of love konon)
now my love, my commitment, my life i dedicate it for my beloved son. however there's still an empty space that need to be fill by the love of a ....... (kalau mulut kata i love you but the action is totally the opposite, can i trust that?)

God, give me strength


Posted at 01:05 pm by sereez
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Feb 20, 2008
23rd: stable mood

Work - it has been a good week so far....my Tech Forum is in order, my ICE campaign is blasting tomorrow...few campaigns still pending....but overall ok la....

Motherhood - i enjoy every second, every minute, every hour i'm spending with Mikhail. Kuku dia tajam betul,kulit kepala dah luka2..muka scratch coz of hos fingel nail....jgn igt saye tak potong kuku dia ok...kuku dia cepat panjang, few days after potong..tgk2 dah panjang balik....

then dia sgt suke roll skarang ni....cepat nangis kalau dia tak leh nak roll balik....so usually i put his toys depan dia to distract him.....and kalau dia baring, suke angkat kaki tinggi2 sampai boleh masuk dlm mulut dia....tak cukup tgn, jari kaki pun dia nak masuk mulut....

i've asked doc abt the use of walker...and he really against it....tp mikhail sgt suke walker dia....and agak convenient gak la coz whenever i want to do house chores i put him to his walker, and dia boleh main sorang2 kejap...kalau bagi dia baring, dia cepat bosan sorang2....

well, i think for baby category..he's quite skinny...tgk tgn tu mmc tulang aje....tp badan dia solid la....and skarang bile duduk, stable jugak la kekadang tp terhoyong-hayang jugak la.....and the best part, dia dah tak nangis bile duduk dlm car seat dia, tp dia punye seat belt mmg masuk dlm mulut aje la....

Breastfeed - i've read a blog ojah bagi...and rase bersemangat sket bile baca....coz sumtimes ada jugak la perasaan nak give up, tp bile fikir untuk kebaikan Mikhail...kene determine jugak la...and milk supply so far cukup, alhamdulillah....

mcm2 cara try nak bykkan susu...minum horlick, barli, milkmaid tea, sup betik muda....and latest i'm taking jamu....harap dpt susukan Mikhail at least 6 bulan...target sampai setahun...

yg buat leceh sket breastfeed ni coz bile bawak Mikhail keluar, susah nak dpt tempat privacy kalau dia nak nenen...

Marriage - how's marriage life been serving me? ok la....kadang2 terase mcm single mother pun ada *urgh*sux*

i'm blaming the society for not teaching a boy (who si growing up to be a men someday) the responsibilities. so bile budak lelaki dr kecik tak di didik supaya membuat kerja rumah, tolong mak ayah...result dia haru biru la....

and i also blaming the society for putting all the responsibilities of housework to women...kalau housewife, faham la coz itu mmg tanggungjawab housewife utk jaga kebajikan rumah.....

teori lelaki cari duit, fomfuan duk umah jaga rumah and anak is no longer valid....i'm gonna teach Mikhail different teori.....

 


Posted at 06:18 pm by sereez
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Feb 18, 2008
22nd: work mode

*wrote this last week

alaaaaaaaaa boringnye esok keje.....byk issue nak kene settle nih....i got few campaigns / events in Q2 and tak semua run smooth....haiyooo...

anyway 4 chinese new year holidays with my beloved son was very precious as i discover that he knows me and prefers me than his daddy....ngeh ngeh.....dah besar dah budak kecik ni, nak masuk 5 bulan pun....azrain main2 dgn dia, but his eyes are still looking for me...bagus anak mama ni...haha

selain jari, kaki dia pun dia nak masukkan dlm mulut....and bile mata dah set kat satu bende, laju je tgn tu nak menggapai...tido pun lasak, letak straight...and the next thing i know dia boleh pusing sampai 360...skarang bontot dah ternaik2 nak try to merangkak....kelaka betul budak kecik ni kekadang....

i bought baby's recipe book....how to do fruits / vege puree, bubur....tak sabar nak introdue makanan kat dia...

 

 


Posted at 10:28 am by sereez
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Feb 9, 2008
21st: writer's block

i'm having writer's block for quite sumtimes...asal nak tulis blog je, rase mcm takde idea nak tulis apa..padahal byk interesting events happened...and i should write it.....

a little update of 2007
married to childhood crush, start new "career" at one of the biggest IT company.....and the biggest news was i'm pregnant!

how cool is that kan?!!! miss period on Jan07, cam alamak..biar benar...so i wait sampai Feb07, still red flag tak naik lagi....buat test sendiri...aiayk, confirm pregnant.....so pegila jumpe Dr.Maziah kat DSH, dia scan perut mmg dah ade isi, mcm tak percaya je....

no gender preference only hoping the baby is perfect and healthy.....even tho ade org ckp buat ape scan tetiap bulan ganggu baby and expose to radiation (thinking it back.....ade radiation ke ek? if it's dangerous doc wouldnt have use it, would she? anyway......) and even tho setiap kali scan tu mahal harga nya, i still ok with it coz it felt like meeting my baby every mth and i got to know his weight, height and his condition.....ada sekali tu buat 3D scan....a bit scary pulak tgk gamba 3D.....

and actually tak plan pun nak tau baby's gender...it happened accidentally bile doc scan sekali dia terus tunjuk and bagitau.....so dah tau la baby boy!!!!!!! problemnya kite takde nama bes lagi ni.....9 bulan pregnant, punya la fikir nak letak nama apa....azrain siap boleh kejutkan kite tido sbb dia terfikir nama2 yg bes....ade beli buku nama2 bayi....so azrain ternampak Auf (nama ayah sahabat nabi) and dia mcm suke sgt.......and finally i kept Mikhail as KIV.....terbayang at that time, nama yg cute utk baby yg cute......and the day has come...24th Sept 2007, 9.32 am........ alamak, nama takde lagi.....so kite org settle for Mikhail Auf.....heheheh......tp grandparents opposed with the name Auf...derang takut nnt org ejek nama tu....so baby yg comel ni telah dinamakan Mikhail Ahmad bin Azrain Ahmad......................................aaawwwww....

hmmm....that's a short story abt naming the baby.....i will write again in next blog abt my pregnancy experience, labor experience and now motherhood experience.....the juggling of being a mother, wife, daughter and a "kuli"......heheheh


Posted at 11:46 pm by sereez
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Oct 22, 2006
raye lagi 2 hari

esok balik kedah.....my first raya as sumone's fiance, my last raya as a single sister & daughter....looking fwd my next raya as a married couple....

things happened so fast.......lagi laju dr fast furious tokyo drift kot?! haha....and i havent blogging for quite sumtime......time constraint, bzness and i cant really stay up late nowadays.....today, i feel like blogging...i feel like updating my life journal....i feel like expressing sumthing....

12 aug my engagement day...28 akad nikah......1 jan wedding reception my side....5 jan azrain's side....

i love my azrain so much and i really2 hope he knows that........he's my prince charming, my mr. right...my everything....and i got questions like "mcm mana ko tau ko ready aaa?" or "how do u know it's him?"......u just know and u dun freak out at all when u can imagine ur future with him.....i love him for who he is and i know he loves me just the way i am....

warghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh tension siot.....!!! tetibe cam hilang idea nak tulis ape.....terase mcm merepek2 je ni.....ape pun.....i love my azrain ahmad!


Posted at 12:40 am by sereez
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Mar 9, 2006
17th : c a n t s l e e p

hmmmmm.....ya ALLAH...cam speechless gile bab.........feels like writing whole lotsa things but dunno where to start........i'm sleepy, i'm tired....but i cant help it when my mind + my body triggered an adrenaline rush........i'm happy

known each other fer almost 10 yrs......and i think i've known the BEST of him and also the WORST of him........once i said to myself; i'll be in a relationship if only i can accept his flaws............b4 this, i used to consider myself mcm Chandler (dlm FRIENDS)......cam kelaka....haha.......commitment freak? byk songeh? tah hape2 la.....

ya ALLAH...serius tak tau cemana nak deliver my tots......it has been a wonderful one week.......and i know there'll be wonderful days ahead..........bulan 8 would be such a special mth fer us......and i dunno why, but i think i'm ready to step up to another level..........

Sophie Zelmani - It's Always You

If it wasn't the ocean
Wasn't the breezes
Wasn't the white sand
There might be no need

If I could sleep through the cool nights
If I could breathe and eat right
If I had worked all summer
Maybe I wouldn't feel so humble

Oh you, it's always you
It's always you

If red roses weren't so lovely
If wine didn't taste so good
If stars weren't so romantic
Then I could do what I should

Oh you, it's always you
It's always you

If your love I could command it
Get your head to understand it
I'd go twice around the world
E ven though I wouldn't find it

 


Posted at 03:59 am by sereez
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Mar 5, 2006
16th : happy ending

hmmm....this yr tahun anjing ikut kalendar cine.....and predicted that it is not really a good yr to doggie....that's mean me n my batch of frens (1982 batch)....starting kind of rough jugak.....so many things happened....mostly unhappy things....but i guess things are started to work out....very unpredictable things has happened and i'm soooo hepi...!

story 1 : ojah finally dpt ape yg diimpikan.....dia target tmpt tu and she got it....mmg sedey she has to go, but this changes is for the best....gumbira sgt utk dia....but after this sure rase lost sket...

story 2 : zuzu cam dah stable sket bile breakfast together semalam....pun gembira utk dia gak dia jumpe sumthing utk diusahakan...so takde la dia down sgt.....glad things are slowly going well for her....

story 3 : o yaa.....how was PGL???? great! two thumbs up.....

story 4 : last but not least...a lil update abt me....finally i got my happy ending....and harapnye happy tu berterusan sampai bile2.....

to you (you know who you are..) : i'm glad u haf the guts to approach me....coz if not, we'll be two lost souls searching for each other to fill up the empty space......hepi to be wit u =)


Posted at 02:51 pm by sereez
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Feb 23, 2006
15th : PGL the Musical

Bernasib baik gak la dpt tau Jon still keje dgn Ticket Access..dia yg do the booking and all.....terima kasih encik jon....Memule cam liat2 gak nak tgk, tp rasenye this is the teater of the year that cannot be miss........PGL here we come..!


Posted at 11:15 pm by sereez
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Feb 21, 2006
14th : The Godfather

bes bes bes

serius bess cite ni......selama ni tak terbukak hati nak tgk...then one fine nite.....tgk dgn kusyuk (haha)

already in my list of favourite movie =)


Posted at 02:50 am by sereez
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Feb 15, 2006
12th : vday....b'day

b4 ngadap pc....terase cam byk naa bende nak cite....tapi bile dah ada peluang,blank plak....bosan seh....hmmm,i'll try to just type whatever come across my mind............................

story 1 : there's lotsa theater targeted to be watch....first theater of the year; PGL the Musical......Hang Tuahnye mat saleh,musical teater lak tu....we'll see how great it'll be.....

then Lantai T.Pinkie; starring Nasha Aziz......(boi...that hottie...)...adapted from A.Samad Said novel, played on stage for few times...definitely dun wanna miss it 

lagi around june'06....P.Ramlee musical.....great huh??!!! heard orchestra played song like "di mana kan kucari ganti" and few others...very melancholic,touching... =)

tu tak campur lagi from Actor's Studio.....

*in supporting of Malaysian Performing Arts =) *

(and i'm hepi to have a gp of frens who are also enjoy this kind of event)

story 2 : yesterday was Vday....Najwa's,Yat's b'day.....happy Birthday u guys....may all u wish 4 come true....insyaALLAH....

how i spent the day? attending an interview during the day...kat around ttdi gak...cam agak gelabah gak coz the nature of this company's business is an English consultancy firm...haiyo,kang disuruhnye buat test English merapu2 kang...takut sgt  kalau the interviewer has a very high ecpectation.....it turned out to be very OK....and i need to sit for the test (2nd interview nnt la)...sumthing like MUET but International standard aaa.....listening,speaking,writing test??? shit..! hahaha....

then mlm....dating dgn Lart...O.U tak nampak mcm packed wit cars...tp kite org spent abt 1/2hr carik parking....igt nak catch a movie, ada hati gak nak tgk Buli Balik....tapi dah terlepas,so we hunt for food......another Vday craze,semua kedai2 mkn penuh dgn org mkn and org menunggu turn nak mkn....wush..we moved from one restaurant to another.....finally settled kat Johnny's which is a steamboat restaurant...hmmm,the food and the price not bad juge......hmmm,chat abt love,men and future.....hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

story 3 : quotes of the day.......................

"Do ur best as it is the nearest to perfection..." - ape pun yg kite try nak buat,try to do it bersungguh2,kalau tak sia2 je..buang mase watpe?

"Dont wait for a miracle to happen, create one" - i mean kalau kite tak put a little effort on sumthing that we desire, mmg sgt sgt susah benda yg kita harapkan tu terjadi....i think the best thing is to create one coz i'm tired of waiting...

 


Posted at 07:56 pm by sereez
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